lloronas

My friend Cira, continues to be probably my best friend here in Ecuador. We are nothing alike, she is a 33 year old single mother supporting her 2 children on the basic Ecuadorian salary, $250 a month. Everyone who has met her agrees upon one thing: She crazy! She talks a mile a minute and is the worse gritona (a woman who screams loudly) I have met down here. When we began spending time together in early December I had to always ask her to repeat what she said or explain it in another way, but now our conversations can flow with little to no interruptions. That trully was a triumph.

Cira has told me before that I am her first "gringa" friend, and it is for that reason that I believe we have developed such a strong relationship. I am not "volunteer Mary" I am Mary the volunteer and those are two totally different things. She is not friends with me because she is friends with Rostro, or because she lives across the street and feels obligated to host me, she doesn't benefit from our foundation in anyway. We became friends because we are cowokers, we are neighbors and we found something within each other that we like. I am going to say that my friendship with Cira and her family is the most sincere relationship I have here in Ecuador.

Cira and I have one thing in common, we are lloronas, or women who cry a lot. Today as she was selling ice cream during recess I sat at the stand with her and talked about how I only have 54 days left in Ecuador. She told me to stop talking crazy because that is "altisimo tiempo," so much time, but then we talked about what would happen when I did go back. How often will we talk? When can either one of us come to visit the other? Getting a visa to the states is more difficult than prying a fat kid away from chocolate cake. And then I asked if she would come to say goodbye to me at the airport. She was almost offended that I would ask such a question because obviously she would be there. I told her that I will be "pura lagrimas" pure tears. She just shook her head and said "yo tambien" me too.

Then her eyes began to glisen and she said, "look, I'm already crying!" and began laughing. I told her I couldn't look at her because then I would start to cry and we would look like such fools sitting there at the ice cream stand sobbing. We then began to laugh so hard at ourselves that the sad tears tunred into happy ones. (wow, i can't believe i just wrote that cheesy ass line) It reminded me of crying at a Ruby Tuesdays with Kelly on our drive back to Chicago! Kelly you would love Cira.

I feel ready to leave Ecuador, but I am in no way ready to leave the realtionships I have made, especially Cira. But ya, no more sadness I'm going to focus on the positive and just live.

Love you all! Hope you enjoy the recent blog entries.

They warned me about this

I remember hearing from former volunteers that blogs are great and all, but it becomes difficult to maintain them towards the end of the year. I didn't believe because I thought that I would always find the time to sit down and blog about all the goings on in my Ecuadorian life. Yes, well, I was wrong, surprise surprise. The end of the year here just seems to be stocked full of business from retreat groups, to meetings, work obligations and of course spending as much time as possible with those Ecuas we have grown so close to.

Well everyone I'm just going to say it, I'm BURNT OUT. I just don't have the energy anymore to balance my many different roles and responsabilites. I'm a full time high school English teacher, I'm a part time kindergarden teacher's assistant, I'm a retreat group leader, I'm a community memeber and then I'm a friend with limited time. So really....who am I supposed to BE? I am spread very thin and feel it taking a toll on me, mentally, physically and emotionally.

In other news, this past Friday I said good-bye to my last retreat group, the wonderful students from University of Scranton. We had a pretty shaky start as one by one 6 out of 14 retreatants found themselves sick, I mean stuff coming out both ends. Every morning when I would walk over to the house I was given another name of the latest victim of what we believe was a flu virus. There was a good amount of vomiting, including some that got on my leg and foot. But hey, it's all part of the package and I didn't mind it that much. My maternal instincts were definitly on high gear.

Spending time with them definitly revived my own desire for being down here. Now in the home stretch I find it so difficult to not think about the future too much. To not focuse on the unknown future that awaits me in Chicago. I have felt very removed from my life here in Duran. Not really spending much time with neighbors or community mates, but rather retreating to my room to journal or listen to music. I feel as if I have nothing more to give, I'm spent. But then came Scranton and I was reminded about one of my motivations for coming down: people. I just love people. I love meeting them, getting to know them, learning from them, and just plan talking to them. I love all people. I mean, don't get me wrong, there are a lot of people I have no patience for and there are others who I find myself being very skeptical and conscious of, but all in all, I just thrive off of person to person contact. I'm realizing it's a gift that not many people have.

It's funny because origionally I wasn't supposed to have this retreat group. They weren't even staying in our house. But I'm so greatful that I had them. It was a wonderful week. Challening and stressful, but worth it in the end.