They warned me about this

I remember hearing from former volunteers that blogs are great and all, but it becomes difficult to maintain them towards the end of the year. I didn't believe because I thought that I would always find the time to sit down and blog about all the goings on in my Ecuadorian life. Yes, well, I was wrong, surprise surprise. The end of the year here just seems to be stocked full of business from retreat groups, to meetings, work obligations and of course spending as much time as possible with those Ecuas we have grown so close to.

Well everyone I'm just going to say it, I'm BURNT OUT. I just don't have the energy anymore to balance my many different roles and responsabilites. I'm a full time high school English teacher, I'm a part time kindergarden teacher's assistant, I'm a retreat group leader, I'm a community memeber and then I'm a friend with limited time. So really....who am I supposed to BE? I am spread very thin and feel it taking a toll on me, mentally, physically and emotionally.

In other news, this past Friday I said good-bye to my last retreat group, the wonderful students from University of Scranton. We had a pretty shaky start as one by one 6 out of 14 retreatants found themselves sick, I mean stuff coming out both ends. Every morning when I would walk over to the house I was given another name of the latest victim of what we believe was a flu virus. There was a good amount of vomiting, including some that got on my leg and foot. But hey, it's all part of the package and I didn't mind it that much. My maternal instincts were definitly on high gear.

Spending time with them definitly revived my own desire for being down here. Now in the home stretch I find it so difficult to not think about the future too much. To not focuse on the unknown future that awaits me in Chicago. I have felt very removed from my life here in Duran. Not really spending much time with neighbors or community mates, but rather retreating to my room to journal or listen to music. I feel as if I have nothing more to give, I'm spent. But then came Scranton and I was reminded about one of my motivations for coming down: people. I just love people. I love meeting them, getting to know them, learning from them, and just plan talking to them. I love all people. I mean, don't get me wrong, there are a lot of people I have no patience for and there are others who I find myself being very skeptical and conscious of, but all in all, I just thrive off of person to person contact. I'm realizing it's a gift that not many people have.

It's funny because origionally I wasn't supposed to have this retreat group. They weren't even staying in our house. But I'm so greatful that I had them. It was a wonderful week. Challening and stressful, but worth it in the end.