Rostro's mission is to build relationships with the Ecuadorian people. Underlying that very simple mission is the defining of who are the "people." Is Rostro here to only befriend the impoverished? Do people who do not fit our ideas of poverty deserving of our time? Well who the hell am I to say who is really poor and who is not so poor? Nobody. I did not come here to compare or to judge the living conditions of Ecuadorians throughout Duran, Guayaquil and the Puntilla. I came here to insert myself into a culture and lifestyle that was unlike my own, so as to learn, reflect, challenge and change. I did not come here because there are poor people here, because there is rampant poverty throughout Chicago, but rather I came here because I was supposed to...why, I don't know!

Recently a community mate told me a story about how he went to a very nice house in Arbolito to help tutor a family in English. They were a middle class family which caused my community mate to question himself "Should I really be spending my time with a middle class family?" He explained to me that when he first arrived to Ecuador he was set on only spending his time with "the poorest" of people and so he caught himself questioning his visit to this obviously not poorest family. What I told him was "what did it matter, people are people." If Rostro is about building relationships it's about building them with everyone and not making ourselves an exclusive foundation.

We are here to enter ourselves into a society that is driven by the oppressiveness of systemic poverty. But aren't we also here to "be" and to give of ourselves to any and all? I fear that a danger to building relationships is this emphasis on building relationships is that we have to keep in mind, "Am I building this relationship for the right reason?" Meaning, do I really have a friendship with them? Are we equals in this friendship? Or did I seek out this relationship because this person is poor? They live in a cane house and I think that I should be there friend. There is a small selfish voice in the back saying "now I can tell people stories about how poor this person was and how great I was for being their friend." It just seems to defeat the purpose of building relationships if we are forcing them to fit some standard.

Perhaps I am ranting, or just not making sense. But I think that at the heart of this blog is the fear of objectifying people as "the poor," "the rich," or "the middle" and then somehow judging who is more deserving of our time. Do I go over to Nancy's house instead of Cira's because Nancy lives in a one bedroom cane house with her family and Cira lives in a 3 bedroom cement house with a TV and computer? Will I benefit anymore from going to Nancy's than Cira's? Or will I simply be spending time with someone I care about no matter where I go?

I struggle with the comparative poverty that happens within Rostro. I struggle with people judging our neighbors because they have nicer houses, because their streets are paved. I struggle with the emphasis sometimes placed heavily on the poverty of a person and nothing else. I struggle with the fact that my closest relationship is with a middle class family who still fights to stay afloat but is only seen for the nice material things they possess. I struggle with the idea that just because my students come to school dressed up and clean, doesn't mean that they are well behaved or any less poor than those kids who attend our after school programs. I struggle with a lot. So now what? Where do all these frustrations lead me? Are they legit? Do they matter? Will I just have to get over them and move on?

So many questions...and no answers.