English grammar sucks

An exercise in English grammar. Subject verb agreement.

Select the correct form from the choices give in parentheses.

1. Neither of those chairs (is, are) safe to sit on.
2. A pile of ragged suitcases and untidy bundles (was, were) waiting for us on the dock.
3. Either the potatoes or the meat (have, has) a peculiar taste.
4. Neither the coach nor the players (feel, feels) very confident.
5. Professor Pine and his three daughters (is, are) arriving on today's train.

*answers will be provided in the next blog

This grammar topic has been driving me up the wall. It has also been frusterating the hell out of my decimo students (9th graders). So maybe you can be in solidarity with me and try the exercise. Perhaps the answers will even confuse you....

Off to class to make their heads spin with more grammar. More to come soon...

So Halloween is not a holiday in Ecuador, surprise surprise, but we volunteers are still thinking about it. Although plans fell through to have a Halloween party in the retreat house for the neighborhood kids, we are still able to commemorate this odd holiday in our own way. In the mail this week my mom sent me a Halloween card and stickers. The stickers were intended for the kids at the guarderia, which maybe one day I'll use them there, but my first instinct was to place them all over the house. And so on Tuesday night after work I walked around and placed stickers of ghosts and halloween cats in the most random places: clock, utensil jar, underneath our fruit basket, my water bottle. Julia warned me "it's cute now but it won't be so cute in July," and although she is probably right it didn't stop me from my sticking spree.

Then today Jesus, our neighbor across the street, took me to the Duran market to buy a pumpkin for the house! Before we got there I was thinking "well maybe I can buy a few small ones so we can all carve one" but then I remembered that they don't sell pumpkins for decorations, they are meant to be eaten. Ah, yes, they are after all a vegetable. So needless to say the selection was small but good. Nice size pumpkins in different shades of green and yellow-orange. I picked out a nice plump one although Jesus suggested that I buy one that was the size of a small child. Good thing I didn't since I had to carry that damn thing around the market and then home on the bus! I will admit I felt a little silly getting on the red bus with a pumpkin tucked under my arm, but people have carried on crazier things (live chickens, dogs, construction material).

We hope to carve it tonight before we all depart for our adventures in Ecuador!!! We have our first 4 day weekend and are splitting up into several groups to travel to different parts of the country. Jaime and I will be traveling with Megan to a village in the Andes mountains called Loja. Christina and Jake will be joining us.

(side note: Christina is a former volunteer who came back for a few months to work at Nuevo Mundo's morning school. Jake is her awesome boyfriend who is volunteering at a hospital in the burn unit. They live in the apartment below our house in AJs and they may just be the coolest people ever. We love them.)

So we leave tonight to take a 9 hour bus ride to the beautiful village. We don't have an itinerary but who cares, from what we read it sounds like anything we do will be relaxing and well worth it. I'm just excited to see a different part of Ecuador, oh and get this since it's in the mountains it's....COLD!!! I'm packing my jeans, long sleeve shirts and a sweater! I've been in living in heat for so long that the thought of not sweating is just short of a miracle.

This website is in Spanish but you can just look at pictures: www.vivaloja.com

I don't know if you can tell, but I'm just really happy right now and in such a good place, I just needed to share with you all. I talked to mom on Wednesday night and she said "it's good to hear you laugh," and yes it's good to laugh. There hasn't been too much to find joy and laughter in the last few weeks, but now there is so much.

I have been spending more time with neighbors, and talking to new ones. I'm also singing with the church group on Sunday nights and so I met with the lead singer and guitarist on Thursday night to learn some songs and it was great to just sit and talk with people my age. We spend most of our time with kids and adults (30s and up) so it was fun to joke around and feel like I was with friends. I also am really happy to be singing with them because it will help me with spanish and also with learning the mass parts...which is incredibly difficult.

I could just keep writing, but I don't want to bore anyone. Thanks for reading! Happy Halloween!!!

As always, I love you.

A whirlwind of events

I arrived at the guarderia late on Thursday morning. I had puffy red eyes and a half hearted smile. I had just spent the last hour at the airport saying goodbye to Michele. I was going on only a few hours of sleep, no food, and I was emotionally drained from the past two weeks. Needless to say the guarderia was the LAST place on earth I wanted to be when Diana, one of the teachers, approached me to see what was wrong. Thinking that I was ok, I began to explain what had happened and found myself bursting into tears...again. She put a comforting hand on my shoulder as the children began shouting "MARIA ESTA LLORANDO" (mary is crying). Yeah, thanks kids.

I was able to finally calm down after talking with Raquel, another teacher, who I thought wasn't too fond of me. She actually sought me out and told me that she had been meaning to talk to me because she could tell I was sad. It meant a lot to me to know that the women I have been working with actually care for me. While talking to Raquel I thought "maybe this place isn't as bad as I thought." That was until snack time.

We were having snack as usual when I felt Jean Pierre's (yeah a french named Ecuadorian, crazy I know) hand on my shoulder. I turned around to see what he wanted but was met by his fast jumbled spanish, and so I turned back around. Jean Pierre tapped me again, and this time when I turned to him I was met by a vomit covered child. Jean Pierre has puked all over himself. It was running down his shirt and half his pant leg. He looked at me with his puppy dog eyes and said in his small high pitched voice "yo vomite" (I vomited). Yeah ya did. It was disgusting to say the least, and I took him to the classroom to clean him up and help him change. Truly a humbling experience cleaning up a 4 year old's chunky vomit. Thanks, mom for cleaning up ours! And much respect for my sisters in law. Keep fighting that good fight.

So you can believe me when I say that this weekend's retreat was much needed. Thank God for great timing because just after the roughest part of our year came our first all RdC retreat at the beach. It was a wonderful weekend away from work, responsibilites and Duran. We spent the majority of the time doing whatever we wanted, being selfish as Ethan, our leader told us. So I spent my time being selfish with Jaime, Lupita. With the crazy work schedules and living in different houses we don't spend too much time together and so finally we had some time to sit down together and be friends. It was just what I needed.

We ate "US food," sandwhiches with lettuce!, cheeseburgers and bacon! Can you tell that we've been missing food from home? Not to mention meat especially! It was wonderful to pig out on comfort food, but we were also very excited to come home and make some good ol rice and beans for dinner.

But we didn't spend all our time eating (just about 70%), we did manage to fit in some great reflections, talks and community time that was well over due. The AJS community had a great conversation on Sunday afternoon. As we sat listening to the waves crashing upon the shore we finally came together as the 5 of us to remember why community is so important. We reminded each other that as much as we need to hold each other accountable for our actions, we also have to be each others support systems. We need to be open, honest and vulnerable. We need to be willing to love but more importantly we must be willing to BE loved. Perhaps that is the hardest part for me...realizing that even at my worse I am still worthy of love.

We left the beach with mixed emotions of how the rest of the year is going to play out, but without a doubt we left knowing that we are beginning to form community. That night at mass,as I made my debut as the newest member of the church band, I felt a sense of peace and calm rush over my anxious heart as I came to understand that we are exactly where we are supposed to be...

As always, thanks for reading. Love you family!

Funny story:

Last Wednesday morning Steve came running into my room to tell me that there was a mouse in the kitchen. Still half asleep I went into the kitchen to find a very plump mouse/rat sitting in our dish rack. Laura, Steve and I stood there whispering (because if you talk too loud the mouse might move right?) about what to do and in my usual manner I said:

"I gotta go to work. Don't do anything until I'm out the door and it is shut behind me." I didn't want a rodent chasing me down the stairs.

And as I left I heard Steve say to Laura, "What should we do?"
To which Laura replied "I don't know, call animal control?"

Well here in Ecuador animal control turned out to be our guard Wellington and a shovel. Poor mouse didn't even know what was coming.

Insight into my cluttered mind

I cannot believe that it is already October 13th. I have been here for a little over 2 months, but I feel as if I have been away from home for much longer. As we enter into our third month it seems as if the final remnants of beauty, politeness, and patience are slowly falling to the way side. It's time for us to get real, for lack of a better term.

This last week was sensory overload to the point where I couldn't even function properly by the time Saturday rolled around. I don't think I can explain what I'm going through other than saying that everything we experience here is an extreme. We either have amazing or horrible days, and our emotions follow the same pattern. My mood changes so often that sometimes I scare myself with how quickly I can go from happy to sad. Any issue someone brings up to me is a personal attack and I am always on the defense with my actions and thoughts, words and deeds. I feel as if I am living in a small box and the walls are made of people questioning my motives, the rules of the program, my own insecurities and people's expectations.

I have never been one to defy authority, or to go against rules. But here all I want to do is rebel against any limitations placed upon my freedoms. I have not done anything crazy, nor will I, but just writing about this is allowing me to see how ridiculous it all really sounds. I did not come here to rebel, but I also did not come here to live a regimented life. So where is the balance? Obviously I am coming to find that it is up to me and my community to decide that.

Within the last few days I have had the stark realization that I am not apart of a community because we have not developed into our 5 person community or into our 11 person community. We aren't living within the communal mindset that is necessary for this experience. Perhaps I sound crazy. Perhaps you don't understand what I'm talking about, maybe because I don't either.

What I'm struggling with is the fact that this lifestyle is so different than my lifestyle back home. Back home where I was an individual. Where my actions only affected myself and the consequences were my own to deal with. But here, in Ecuador, I have to become apart of something that is more than myself. We all do. We are not Mary, John, Julia, Laura and Steve, rather we are the 5 AJS volunteers with Rostro de Cristo. What we do reflects upon all of us, and especially upon our program. When I speak I speak for the group, when they speak they speak for me.

We are not individuals. How radical is that? Radical in the sense that it is the complete oppostie of how we grew up in the US where everyone is special and everyone has autonomy. A few days ago I journaled about how I find myself transitioning very well, people from back home have told me that it sounds like I'm doing great down here, and I am. But at the end of the day this program is much more than just transitioning well into a new location it's about transitioning well into a new lifestyle a new way of being.

Does this sound crazy? Yes, probably. Do I think it's crazy? Yes. Do I still think it's true? Yes. Will I allow myself to transition and detach myself from my fears, expectations, insecurites and flaws so that I can embrace this experience, the love of others and myself, my own brokeness and God? I pray that I will.

Although this blog probably sounds very emotional and dramatic please know that it all comes from the heart. Know that I am doing well, I love the time I have spent here so far and look forward to the coming months. Know that I continue to pray for patience and peace and understanding. Know that I am still smiling and laughing everyday. Know that I do find happiness and beauty in even the darkest of moments. Know that this experience is making me a stronger, more faithful young woman.

To those who have been sending me letters keep em coming! Mondays is mail day and there is no better feeling than coming home to a few handwritten letters from loved ones! Thanks for reading. Comment if you'd like.

I love you, Mom!

Every night before I go to sleep I make sure to set my alarm for 6:00am. And every night I tell myself, “Mary, tomorrow is going to be different. Tomorrow you are going to wake up when your alarm rings, get out of bed, thank God for a new day, shower, eat a relaxed breakfast while reading the paper and then leave for work.” Doesn’t that sound so nice? I think so. I think it sounds great every time I say it to myself at night. But the reality is that I wake up at 6:50am after hitting the snooze button for an hour. The guard is usually pounding on the door to tell me Eleodora is here to walk to work and still half asleep I shout out the window “Esperame un ratito!” (Just a minute) I then throw on the same clothes I wear every day, khakis and my Rostro polo, grab my bag and head out the door without thanking God, without showering and of course without breakfast..

The majority of my days begin in this chaotic manner but then slow down as Eleodora and I walk the 15 minutes to work in Arbolito. I then can stop to buy a piece of bread and banana and head over to the volunteer house to eat a relaxed breakfast. Being greeted by Eduardo, the guard, is one of my favorite moments in the day. Without a doubt he will always have a smile and a warm embrace to give, always calling me his “pana” (Ecua speak for friend). I then eat breakfast with Jaime, Michele and sometimes Dan or Theresa. We joke and laugh for 20 minutes until we all go our separate ways to work.

The hours from 8-12pm I would like to block from my mind everyday, sometimes skip entirely. Those are my work hours at the guarderia (which I call the ward). Almost two months in and I still dread going to work there everyday. It’s just very difficult to work with children, but especially in another language. They don’t listen to me, don’t do what I say, and could care less that I’m there. I teach a short English lesson for 20 muinutes and the rest of the time I try and help the teacher with managing the classroom. I just don’t know why I hate it so much because I love kids and I love working with them, but these children are like nothing else. All they do is scream, kick and punch each other, complain, cry or act like they’ve gone deaf when I try to ask them something. I’ve been patient and I continue to pray for patience, but it is sloooow coming.
But traveling to Nuevo Mundo in the afternoons is such a relief. I can only describe Mundo as a paradise or an oasis. Located on the small wealthy Puntilla, the bus ride to Mundo is dotted with palm trees, malls, nice cars, well maintained landscaping and houses that look like they were shipped here from the Hollywood hills. Only 20 minutes away from Duran there is a small USA, it´s incredible. The Nuevo Mundo grounds are beautiful as well full of lush green trees and plants, open classrooms and sports grounds, the most green I have seen in Ecuador is at Nuevo Mundo. It’s truly another world there and it needs to be another world for the kids who come from all over Duran and the campo, they deserve beauty in their lives that are filled with ugliness.

I come home tired but excited to be with my community. To share our days with each other, to laugh and sometimes cry (mostly me). I love coming home to people who are excited to see me and who care about the kind of day I have had. I love knowing that I can tell them when I don’t want to talk and they understand and I love when they make me talk about whats wrong because its what I need to do. This whole intentional community component of Rostro is wonderful and I’m so glad I am in a program that stresses the importance of building a community among each other. Because without my community mates I would be an emotional mess every day.

On a lighter note:
1. I am the mother of the house which means I take care of my 4 children when they are sick, sad, in need of a hug. Some motherly duties I have attended to: picking lice out of Julia’s hair, holding Laura’s hair while she got sick and putting a wet washcloth on her forehead, rubbing John’s back when he couldn’t stop shitting his brains out, and nagging Steve to seek a doctor for his illness.
2. I am the house expert on rice cooking. Perhaps I do know how to cook something, Mom!

On a funny note. The language is of course an every day struggle, but I'm getting better day by day! The other night I came home and our guard Wellington was talking to his wife Zoiraha outside of the gate. When I came over I heard her ask me:
'Are you Italian'
'No, I'm Mexican.' I responded
'Good because I made a dish with meat and I wanted to make sure you would eat it''
'Wait..did you say Italian or vegetarian?'
'Vegetarian.'
'Oh, I'm not one of those either.'

Talk about lost in translation! The words Italian and Vegetarian sound similar in Spanish, especially when you are tired. It was funny at the moment thats for sure!

An honest e'mail

I have been attempting to blog for the last 5 days. Every time I sit down at a computer I feel as if there is just too much to express and not enough time to focus my thoughts. I finally wrote an e'mail back to my good friend Polish Mike back in Chicago and felt that my e'mail to him was exactly what I have been trying to say for the last week or so. I have copied the exact e'mail here for you all to read. I did not edit or change anything because I feel I was honest in the email so why change it for my blog?

Hello USA,

Yeah buddy I've been in Ecuador for over a month now, crazy huh? This may sound strange but I still think about our last time hanging out together. It was so chill. I miss being chill so much. I miss eating pizza, drinking beer, sitting on my deck and going to movies. Life here is so different it's hard to realize it sometimes.

This first month went off without a hitch. I loved it, loved my community mates, loved the food, people, everything. But now reality is starting to sink in and things are starting to become less lovable. This was expected of course, but you cannot prepare for such a feeling either. Its hard to describe. The funny thing is that I know when I move back to the US I am going to feel exactly the same, maybe even worse.

Food and things are super cheap down here. The air is horribly polluted because of all the exhauste from buses and cars. We cannot walk anywhere alone due to saftey precautions. We can't drink the tap water due to parasites. We can't be out past 12am, which is fine. And I, along with some of my community mates, have decided not to drink due to the social and culteral implications that alcohol is associated with here.

Its funny because life here is just living. I am not doing anything crazy, at least I dont think so. I walk to work in the mornings with a coworker. I work with 5 year olds until 12pm. I go home change into my teachers uniform and then take a bus for 30 cents to my afternoon job as a high school English teacher. After that I travel back home on the most crowded bus of my life and either cook dinner, go to the internet cafe, read a book or visit a neighbor. I really have no free time or time to myself except for when I'm on the bus. It's difficult to go from my life in Chicago where I had a lot of free and alone time to always being around people. Constantly.

But its all worth it because I am learning a lot about myself through these people. I am getting to know my limits better, I can recongnize my limitations with annoyance and anger, jealousy, things like that ya know? Its hard to describe because its something internal. All that is certain is I will leave Ecuador a very different person than when I came, but perhaps only I will realize the change.

I have been very reflective these past few days. I hope that this e'mail isnt a downer. Your internship, tell me more about it. Working with mentally ill people is such a challenge and yet really rewarding when you can actually connect with them. Oh man.

Verga Cassaroll

Visiting neighbors and develpoing relationships is at the heart of the Rostro de Cristo mission. We are here for a year to not simply perform the jobs we were given, but to immerse ourselves in Ecuador through the customes, traditions and most importantly the people. Everyone we meet asks us how we are enjoying Ecuador. Do we like the food? How is the weather for us? Do we miss home?

The majority of us always answer with much gusto and say that we like Ecuador very much, we like the food, the weather is hot but tolerable and we love the people. With only a month of being here, there is little else for us to say because we have only really put our toes in the water. The truth of this experience and our emotions will only come to fruition when we submerge ourselves. But the question is, when will that happen?

Recently I have found that I am frusterated, mostly with myself. I shamefully do not speak fluent Spanish, the language barrier is strong and I feel as if I will never be able to fully express myself, or truly enter into real relationships with the Ecuadorian people. I am such a chatter box back in the states, I enjoy talking to people, I am witty and sarcastic, I can win people over through a conversation. But yet here I am left to simply nod my head when they speak to me and respond with broken sentences, most of the time with the wrong words and context. I find myself asking of I ever will truly be able to get to know the people of Ecuador if hey cannot understand what I´m trying to say.

But despite my language deficiency I am trying to spend more time with neighbors. It´s amazing how people here are so inviting and welcoming. While coming home from the bus the other day I passed Gabriel´s house and he waved me over to come in, I visited with him and his family for almost an hour. I don´t even remember what we talked about but what mattered was that we were giving each other our time.

What´s so beautiful about the neighbors is that they invite you into their homes whether you are expected or not. When we were younger we would run away from the windows and turn off the TV and lights if we saw someone coming for an unexpected visit, most of the time it was because we were still in our underwear or pjamas, or we hadn´t cleaned like mom said, and other times because our visitors seemed to never leave. Kids typically don´t have very good manners. Mom,however, always made our home open to anyone who came, serving them coffee and whatever little food we had. I´m just finally starting to appreciate how lovely of a custom it is especially since I am not the unexpected visitor.

Life here is still full of surprises and laughter. The days are draining, but we come home to warm community and the five of us spend our nights laughing and teasing each other. Just the other night we laughed extremly hard at Laura´s expense. Please read the following story:

In our house we have many cookbooks that previous volunteers have left behind with their own receipes. It was Laura´s night to cook and so she stood outside with a receipe book and was consulting our guard and two neighborhood children about different meals. She turned the page and found the receipe for ¨Verga Cassaroll.¨ As Laura asked aloud:

¨Que es Verga Cassaroll¨
¨Verga es un mal palabra¨(that is a bad word) one of the neighbors said.

Bryan, an 11 year old then pointed to a picture on the page and began laughing hysterically. It was a picture of a penis! As Laura continued to read the receipe she realized it was a receipe for Penis cassaroll...also known as a joke. Poor Laura was horrified that she hadn´t seen the picture before or read the ingredients before she asked the neighbors.

That story kept us laughing throughout dinner as we enjoyed the usual rice, beans and veggies. No verga.